


Tidings of Comfort and Joy

by spicy_diamond



Category: Pumpkin Scissors
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-05 12:38:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1093963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spicy_diamond/pseuds/spicy_diamond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luckily the holidays are a time for miracles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tidings of Comfort and Joy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TeaRoses](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaRoses/gifts).



“You have got to be shitting me.”

“Oreldo, language.”

“...Yeah, right,” eyes never leaving the neatly folded mass of red and white on the desk in front of him, Oreldo's brows rose further towards his hairline. He cleared his throat. “You've got to be shitting me, _Sir_.”

“As I was saying,” Alice slapped the desk heavily, repeating their mission briefing for both Oreldo's benefit and for the room at large. “The charity we've been partnered with will have two different stands - one on each end of the park. We are to split ourselves up between the stands and to help with gift distribution. Otherwise, the event should run largely like last year's operation.“

“...I don't remember having to wear a Santa outfit last year,” Oreldo lifted up the distinctive red and white suit with a frown.

“It can't be helped, the kids weren't happy at all last year when they realized that Santa was a girl, remember?” Martis piped up helpfully, looking far too smug for a man with a reindeer costume on his own desk. “The Lieutenant nearly had a riot on her hands.”

“Well, why aren't you wearing it then?” The question came out as a whine. “If it has to be a guy-”

“Perhaps,” Alice crossed her arms, looking at him pointedly, “if you had been here on time this morning you would have been able to choose a different costume, Warrant Officer Oreldo.”

As usual, Oreldo wasn't listening to the reprimand.

“...Hold on a minute here,” eyes sweeping about the room for someone else to pawn the costume off on, he noticed something odd about their numbers. “Where's the Big Guy? Don't tell me he got himself hospitalized again and I didn't hear about it?”

“No, not that I know-”

“So he's late?” Oreldo drew out the word with a sly smile, already moving to shove the suit and all of its trappings over on the undefended desk. “Excellent! Well, I'll just stick these over here then.”

“Oreldo!” Alice's stern look intensified.

“What?” Oreldo lifted his shoulders in a casual shrug, palms spread helplessly. He reasoned, “the guy's like ten times better with the kids than I am.”

“True,” Martis quipped only to be dismissed with another wave of Oreldo's hand as the man continued.

“Plus, really, me? Santa? Do you seriously think parents are going to want their kids taking candy from a pervert like me?”

“Also very true.”

“Hey, Martis! Just whose side are you on anyway, huh? I oughta-”

“Unfortunately,” Hunks, expression bland, glanced over the top of his newspaper to look at the drama unfolding in Section III's tiny office space, “there's a very simple reason why Corporal Oland cannot be Santa this year.”

“Hm?” Distracted from Martis, Oreldo followed the Captain's stare back to the costume in question.

“Size,” Hunks said simply.

Eyes widening in realization, Oreldo hastily lifted the suit up. Accessories tumbling this way and that as he held it up to himself experimentally, he frowned, “...damn.”

“Now,” Alice straightened, preparing to begin again, “with that settled...”

She paused just long enough to draw the curious stares of the rest of the room, until it became apparent why she had stopped – the heavy, speedy footsteps of a guilty conscious.

“Corporal!” Alice timed her bark to coincide perfectly with the click of the door being opened. “You're late!”

“L-Lieutenant...” Clearly not expecting a confrontation first thing upon his arrival, Oland flinched visibly. Arms protectively over his chest, his large shoulders hunching inwards as he shrank in the face of the tiny, steel-eyed woman. “I... Sorry. There's something-”

“There are no “sorrys” in the military! Only action!” The rest of the room froze, experienced enough from Oreldo's habitual truant mornings to sense where this was going. “And since some of our members seem determined to ignore that this morning, it appears we need to refresh ourselves on Section III's regulations!”

“...Seriously?”

“Shh! You'll get us in trouble...”

There was a long suffering sigh and muttering as Martis and Oreldo scrambled up to their feet.

“...Uh...” Flustered, Oland's eyes widened, gaze darting towards the others in confusion.

“One!” Alice brought her boots together with a snap, then frowned when she realized her lead wasn't being followed. “...At attention, Corporal.”

“Er, Lieutenant, I have-” he shifted uncomfortably, hands still over his jacket front, “that is-”

“Corporal,” her frown deepened as she asked, “why do you have a bulge under your uni-”

“Waaait, Merc! I haven't finished sewing your jingly bells!”

“WOOF!”

And, like a shot from a signal gun, Courier Private First Class Mercury's bark marked the decent of complete and utter chaos upon the Pumpkin Scissors regiment.

o.o.o.o

Waiting until he was entirely certain that the dust had settled, Captain Hunks slowly, casually folded up his newspaper, setting it to the side; then, striking a match, he carefully lit his pipe and took a puff.

“So? What exactly did you intend to do with them, Corporal?”

The “them” in his statement were two tiny, black kittens, still too young to open their eyes, now sitting on the desk in front of them, swathed in a nest of the tattered rag Oland had been carrying them in, safely tucked in a warm inner, breast pocket of his uniform, and the coat of Oreldo's, eagerly donated, santa outfit. They were a bit dirty, weak, and clearly in need of care. And, as though to emphasis this fact, one small mouth opened letting loose one small pleading meow towards the group soldiers crowding around the desk.

Adorned with a neatly sewn pair of reindeer antlers tied securely around his head, Mercury pushed his nose further up on the tabletop towards the kittens, sniffed, and gave a single, smug wag of his tail, clearly pleased with himself.

“...Uh...I hadn't really thought about what to do with them.” Oland confessed, a hand behind his head. “They were just so small. And it's just so cold out...”

“No mommy?” Stecchin asked from where she was cooing at the kittens.

He shook his head.

“Well you should have spoken up sooner, Corporal.” Alice said crisply, arms folded across her chest. “There's no shame in being late if you were delayed in the course of helping the weak. That's what our division is intended for.”

Looking relieved, Oland smiled bashfully down at her.

“Still, I gotta hand it to you, Lieutenant,” quickly growing bored with the display of cuteness atop the desk, Oreldo rocked back on his heels, “it was pretty bold of you to go asking about the bulges under the Big Guy's uniform.”

Horrified, Martis elbowed him quickly.

He needn't have bothered, however, because Alice merely blinked at them.

“ 'Bold?' ” She echoed. “It seems like a reasonable question? After all, it's useful to know when your team members have a new piece. Weapons are-”

“Anyway!” Martis cut in before Oreldo could take further advantage of their superior's cluelessness. “If they're that small they're going to require special care until they're able to fend for themselves. Do we even know what they need to eat? And, we'll probably need some better blankets. And, a box...”

“All right!” Goal now set, Alice gave her orders. “Martis, you'll be in charge of gathering information on their care and finding feeding supplies.”

He nodded briskly.

Alice turned. “Stecchin!”

“...Look at the widdle, bitty paws...”

“Do you still have leftover fabric from the costumes?”

“Yep~!” She chirped, never taking her eyes off their charges.

“Good. We can use it to make some blankets with.”

“Hm,” still casually smoking away on his pipe, Hunks shifted back in his chair. One hand reached blindly to the shelves behind him and, finding what he was looking for, he slowly straightening again. “Here.” He plopped their unit's empty In box on the desk. “We may as get some use out of this.”

“Captain...?” It was hardly regulation.

The man waved off her concern with a lazy flap of his hand. “Continue, Lieutenant.”

“Very well,” with Martis already occupied, Alice attention turned to her second Warrant Officer. “Oreldo!”

“All ready way ahead of you.” And, he was, jacket smoothed down neatly and previously abandoned Santa's cap twirling with suspiciously good cheer off a fingertip as he headed towards the door.

“But, I haven't given you an order yet.”

“Nope.” He popped the hat onto his head. “But, we're going to need someone to take them in later if they live long enough for it. I'll just be out securing our prospects.”

“But-”

“And, I know a few girls who might just want to sit on Santa's lap.”

Watching him leave, Alice wisely decided that she didn't want to inquire further.

“ '... _If_ they live long enough for it.' ” She turned back towards the desk at Oland's quiet murmur, only to find that he was still looking solemnly down the kittens. His brow furrowed as he wrung scarred hands worriedly. “...They might not. They're still so small.”

It was a bit of a stretch, but that didn't deter Alice from placing a hand on his shoulder.

“They may be small,” she conceded, “and, they very well may not make it. But, miracles don't occur on their own, Corporal, it takes work. And, being the driving force behind miracles is precisely Pumpkin Scissors' role. So, as the one who rescued them in the first place, are you prepared to work to save them?”

And, looking down at her, he smiled, the nervous movement of his hands slowing to a stop. “Yes, Lieutenant.”

“Very good,” she smiled back, nodded firmly. “Then, we'll work on saving them together.”


End file.
